Birth control can be both a blessing and a curse. It can reduce acne, prevent pregnancy, and stop periods for a time for those of us who won the lottery with endometriosis. However, for some women, one side effect in the fine print can put a damper on their sex life: decreased libido. For some, maybe especially those women who are also taking antidepressants or other medications, lower sex drive is a troubling side effect and might diminish their chances of reaching orgasm or even just feeling sexual arousal.[i] This can be discouraging because who doesn’t want to have a vibrant sex life in their marriage? Luckily, there are ways to stay on birth control and take back control of your sex life.
TAKE TIME FOR FOREPLAY
One way to take back control of your sex if is to recognize that sexual arousal is more than just a physical response. Your mind is your most powerful sex organ, meaning that a big part of experiencing sexual arousal is how you think about sex. Having a good relationship with your partner, spending more time engaging in foreplay, and finding ways to look forward to sex are all ways that you can increase your sexual arousal. [ii]
TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF OF ORGASM
Another way to boost your sex life while on medication is to take orgasm off of its pedestal. That’s right, I said it. If you want more satisfying sex, don’t make orgasm the goal. Even though medication side effects can make orgasms less intense, that doesn’t mean that sex has to be bland or unenjoyable. Sex is about being vulnerable and connecting with your partner. It’s about spending time with them and having fun together. When you take the pressure off of having orgasms, especially when you are taking medication that may make that difficult, you can focus on enjoying that time with your partner. Remember: orgasm is not the same as feeling satisfied. In fact, research shows that when women have orgasms over 60% of the time, they don’t necessarily feel more satisfied than a woman having less consistent orgasms.[iii] This is great news! It means that while orgasms are great, you can still have a very satisfying sex life without intense orgasms every time.
SWITCH MEDICATION
What if you want to experience orgasms fully without the effects of your medication?
There are a few options for you. One option is to talk to your doctor about trying another birth control/medication option. Most women in the U.S. take hormonal birth control, with the most common being the pill, IUD, or implant.[iv] For women who experience side effects from these birth control options, nonhormonal birth control may not have so much of an effect on sex drive.
It is important to note that most nonhormonal birth control options are not as effective at preventing pregnancy as hormonal contraceptives. The copper IUD is the most effective nonhormonal birth control option, being 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. However, some copper IUD side effects include heavier period bleeding and worse cramping or irregular periods.[v] Some nonhormonal birth control options include ph balancing vaginal gel, spermicide, diaphragm, cervical cap, sponge, copper IUD, fertility tracking, and condoms.
SCHEDULE SEX
If switching medications is not right for you, you can always schedule sex around the time you take your medication. The effects of medication are usually highest when you first take them, so having sex before you take your medication may increase your ability to feel aroused or orgasm. If you take your medication in the mornings, maybe having sex at night will lessen the side effects because your medicine is starting to wear off.
SEXUAL MINDFULNESS
Dealing with medication side effects can be stressful, and stress/anxiety aren’t friends with a satisfying sex life. Sexual mindfulness can lower stress during sex when you slow down and enjoy all of the sensations you are feeling. One study has shown that sexual mindfulness is associated with more frequent orgasms.[vi] There haven’t been any studies investigating the benefits of sexual mindfulness on low libido caused by medication, but based on what we know about sexual mindfulness, there’s a strong chance that it could help counter the side effects.
No matter which option you decide to try, talking to your partner about the struggles you are experiencing can help you stay connected. They may even have some ideas that you could try together. If nothing else, your partner can empathize with you and be there to let you know that they want you to feel loved and satisfied.
[i] Malmborg, A., Persson, E., Brynhildsen, J., & Hammar, M. (2016). Hormonal contraception and sexual desire: A questionnaire-based study of young Swedish women. The European Journal of Contraception & Reproductive Health Care, 21(2), 158-167.
Basson, R. (2006). Sexual desire and arousal disorders in women. New England Journal of Medicine, 354(14), 1497-1506.
[ii]Dosch, A., Rochat, L., Ghisletta, P., Favez, N., & Van der Linden, M. (2016). Psychological factors involved in sexual desire, sexual activity, and sexual satisfaction: A multi-factorial perspective. Archives of sexual behavior, 45(8), 2029-2045.
[iii] Leavitt, C. E., Leonhardt, N. D., Busby, D. M., & Clarke, R. W. (2021). When Is Enough Enough? Orgasm’s Curvilinear Association With Relational and Sexual Satisfaction. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 18(1), 167-178.
[iv] Daniels K, Abma JC. Current contraceptive status among women aged 15–49: United States, 2017–2019. NCHS Data Brief, no 388. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2020.
[v] Hubacher, D., Chen, P. L., & Park, S. (2009). Side effects from the copper IUD: do they decrease over time?. Contraception, 79(5), 356–362. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.contraception.2008.11.012
[vi] Leavitt, C. E., Maurer, T. F., Clyde, T. L., Clarke, R. W., Busby, D. M., Yorgason, J. B., … & James, S. (2021). Linking sexual mindfulness to mixed-sex couples’ relational flourishing, sexual harmony, and orgasm. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 1-14.
Jenna Lawlor
Jenna M. Lawlor is a master’s student at Brigham Young University working with Dr. Chelom Leavitt on a degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development. Her research interests include adolescent sexual health, sex education, and preventing sexual abuse. She is currently creating a mindfulness sex education intervention for middle school students to test if mindfulness can be utilized in sex education to help adolescents develop healthy sexual attitudes. She loves working with teenagers to help them see their worth and potential.
Jenna has been married to her sweetheart James for a year. Along with Oli, the sidekick Goldendoodle, their first year of marriage has consisted of lots of laughs (much of which resulted from watching Brooklyn 99), snowboarding, hiking, and camping. Jenna spends her free time writing, being outside, and volunteering for a local rape crisis center. She aspires to become a mother and Family Life Educator, both of which will fulfill her lifelong goal to help children and adolescents develop healthy and happy relationships.