Every Friday night for as long as I can remember, my husband and I have enjoyed date night. It’s time to talk and laugh, relax, and eat good food, and I genuinely treasure our date nights together. We rarely let anything get in the way because it’s an important part of our marriage.
But…when our kids were really little, we didn’t always want to have to find a babysitter, and that can make date night tricky. At some point when they were really little, we found a solution that worked great for everybody, and even today, now that our kids are old enough that we can leave them home on a Friday night, I miss our sweet at home Friday night dates from days past.
This is nothing complicated and maybe not that novel, but it was something that worked very well for our family, and if you find that you are missing date night and wish there was an easier way to enjoy each other’s company when you’ve got a bunch of little ones, this might be a fun solution for you.
Every Friday night, our four boys knew it was “brothers’ movie night.” We’d set them up in one of the kid’s bedrooms with a movie on a laptop and sometimes popcorn. While they watched their movie, one of us would run to grab food (this was before Door Dash which would make this even easier now). Then we’d sit together and eat our meal at the kitchen table and get a chance to talk without the kids (for the most part-every parent knows that there are likely to be some interruptions when the kids are awake). After dinner, we would tuck the kids in bed, and then we’d snuggle up on the couch for two episodes of the X-files.
I warned you this was nothing fancy-it was simple and inexpensive. But even today (and it’s been at least 6 years since we did this), the sound of the X-files theme music takes me straight back to those nights and it’s the sweetest of memories. Because we set this as a standard expectation for everyone on Friday nights, my boys began to really look forward to it as well and enjoyed their time together watching their movie. My husband and I only watched X-files on Friday nights to keep it special.
Date night doesn’t have to be hard. What you really need is time together to talk and connect, to ignore the to-do list and the dishes in the sink, and to be together. You can do that at home (and occasionally get a babysitter and get out too) if you make it a priority. If you haven’t tried this before, give it a go! You might be surprised how meaningful something so simple can be.
Chelom Leavitt
Dr. Chelom E. Leavitt teaches and researches healthy sexuality. She received her PhD from Penn State. Her research specifically examines how being present, accepting, and non-judgmental is linked to improved sexual functioning and satisfaction. Dr Leavitt’s research has been published in the top academic journals. She teaches seminars on sex and healthy relationships around the world. Chelom is married to David Leavitt and they have eight (yes, eight) children.